I don’t get to enjoy a lot of TV because of my crazy schedule, but with the power of DVR, I’m usually able to squeeze in a guilty pleasure here and there. Last year, my mother, who is a TV fanatic, found this show called Married at First Sight on FYI and invited me to watch it with her. The premise of the show, was that it’s a social experiment, where 2 people agree to be matched by a panel of 4 relationship experts, and essentially are then thrust into an arranged marriage. The biggest shock of the show is, they don’t get to meet their chosen spouse until they walk down the aisle.
Everything about this struck me as interesting, and right away, I found myself sucked into the vortex of my latest and greatest reality tv obsession. The couples are taken through the same life milestones that traditional couples generally go through like a wedding, honeymoon, finding a home, and moving in together. It’s a legal marriage, so the only way out is through a divorce… and that’s the next big shocker. The show only gives the couples 5 or 6 weeks to decide if they are going to stay married or get a divorce. Oh… okay… now it’s real interesting. It’s like watching 5 years worth of relationship on crack. Everyone’s emotions are at an all time high, and the drama keeps you on the edge of your seat week after week. Its well worth the watch. They often have marathons, so check your local listing and just give it a whirl.
So here’s the deal, throughout the series, these different relationship experts chime in about what is going on with the couples and explain some of the critical decision or behavior changes that could make their relationships successful or failures. Its better than group therapy! So without further ado, I’ve compiled a list of things that I’ve learned thus far… and I advise that if you’re in a relationship or serious about being successful when you find one, that you bookmark this article. Oh, sidenote… for us single guys and girls, this show won’t really help you FIND a mate. If you need help with that, check out this article by our first male contributor, Tyrone Evans.
Relationship lessons observed
If you have a couple of hours, I can really break this down for you. I started putting all my insights into this one post and it got ridiculously long… so let’s just start with the list of some of the things I’ve learned so far from watching this show.
- Sex too early in a relationship will ruin it.
- Make your arguments about the problem, not about the person.
- When building trust, enormous patience is key.
- Keep your options closed. Going home, quitting, divorce… should be taken off the table, you have to fully commit to the process.
- Keep the fun alive
- Don’t expect your partner to complete you. You have to maintain a sense of yourself to be successful in a partnership.
- Damaged doesn’t mean broken.
- Appreciate your compliment. Sometimes the best partner you can be paired with, is the person that is nothing like you.
- Be self-aware of your emotions, so you know how to prepare yourself for bad reactions.
- The biggest lesson for me… don’t go into a serious relationship until you feel like you have everything that you want in your life in that moment, and a relationship is a means to share your life with someone… not have them fix something or fill a void.
Whether you’re a fan or not, I’d love to hear what kind of advice you have for great relationships, and if you’re a fan… you have to tell me who your favorite couples are and why!
Until next time,