Hey YALL!!! Clearly, these 3 months of living in Atlanta have rubbed off on me. Anyway, have you ever sat back and thought about what self-esteem really is and how you get more of it? well self esteem is defined as “a confidence and satisfaction in oneself.” Self-esteem is a evaluation of how we feel about yourself. There are several different types of esteem. Global self-esteem which is normally constant, determines how we feel about who we are.
Situational self-esteem is a fluctuating esteem that changes based on circumstances or events, it is based on “the moment”, how we feel when we put on our sexy dress and pumps or those moments when we are in uncomfortable environments. Much of our self-esteem comes from our family origins and the environments we grow in, this can be positive as well as negative. When I hear stories of women with body image issues much of it stems from something they were told at a young age by someone they loved. The things we are told by the people we love, positive or negative effect us emotionally. Low self-esteem is a negative evaluation on ourselves. Low self-esteem touches our sensitivities , it can leave us feeling defeated and emotionally blocked. This results in self destruction, we lose our sense of self; our need to care for ourselves deteriorates and we becomes self-absorbed in negativity.
How do we change the way we view ourselves? I myself have struggled with self-esteem issues, I was teased at a young age by my peers and even my family. It effected me for many years, far past becoming an adult. It took me reevaluating myself to find my confidence and my voice. For all of you struggling to find confidence here are some things that may help you. Self-love is a journey, it takes time to find it if you lacked it throughout your life. Nothing happens overnight, the journey wont be easy, but I can say it is well worth the ride!
- STOP COMPARING YOURSELF TO OTHERS! You are unique, you were not created to be a carbon copy so stop trying to make yourself one.
- Practice self-care. Make lifestyle changes that will benefit you. Get active, you will feel better! Start a new life style resolution rather then a New Year resolution. Pamper yourself with a mani and pedi, get your hair done, doll yourself up! Its proven that if you look good you will feel good. Take pride in yourself and give yourself that attention you deserve.
- Identify your triggers. Know what and who triggers your insecurities. We often personalize these triggers which in turn follow by a self-defeating action. Use these triggers or events as a opportunity to learn about yourself and face your fears. Only you are in control of how you feel about yourself.
Take a self-esteem inventory! How can you fix what you don’t know? On a piece of paper write down your strengths and write down your weaknesses. We are visual people, we are more likely to accomplish things if we can see them. Set realistic goals for your weaknesses that can be changed and take time each day to improve on those weaknesses.
Lastly, every morning tell yourself “I love you!” your opinion and view of yourself is what matters most. Learn to completely fall in love with yourself and the world will surly follow!
Signing off until next time,
Your #VisualVixen, Vanessa Evans