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Defining Strength Part 2: Fighting Negativity
Dec 19

Defining Strength Part 2: Fighting Negativity

If you haven’t already, make sure you check out my first post, Defining Strength Part 1 – Remembering Faith.

Today we tackle fighting negativity. I don’t wake up feeling beautiful every day. There are no birds singing heavenly to gently wake me from my slumber. Some mornings, I wake up feeling out of sorts, fat, bloated, uncoordinated, unattractive, un-accomplished, incapable, and unacceptable. It’s easy to be consumed by feelings of inadequacy and insecurity. Most of us don’t realize just how capable we are. Hell most of us don’t realize just how much we truly accomplish every day. Individually, we are each such highly capable, beautiful, forces to be reckoned with, that we would be stunned to see the full extent of what we can do. But most of that capability requires confidence and in a world where it’s difficult to feel anything but inadequate, we are drowning these capabilities in a pool of self-created doubts, stresses, fears and worries.

I know I’m not the only one that has these issues. I even decided to ask the ladies of All Frills Beauty Dream Team do figure out how they push those negative thoughts out of their awareness, and without fail, the ladies came through with some great ways they fight “not feeling it” moments:

1. Your body is your temple, so create an environment where beauty and confidence can thrive, by starting from the Outside in.

I’m sure we would all love to say that we are beyond the bounds of the physical and can always dig deep inside of our selves and pull ourselves up and out of the rut that we are in. But sometimes, all it takes a little glitter to see the shine. We’ve all heard the saying “Sometimes you have to fake it, til you make it.” As superficial as it may seem, it’s simply true, that when a woman looks good, she feels good. So if you take some time to make yourself look like fierce vixen you are, you’re gonna start to feel that positive energy surging inside you. All Frills founder and resident makeup magician Courtney Dade offers the following tip on tackling morning melancholy.

Courtney Dade: A lot of times depression can have even the loveliest lady looking like a hot mess. Sweats, hair pulled back, frumpy, and I’m no exception. I’m a very visual person. So sometimes I have to push myself to project positivity in the mirror. No matter how badly I want to just wear a messy bun and hide my face behind some sunglasses for the day, I make myself spend the 45 min in the mirror giving myself the same kind of attention I give women in my chair. Most women see makeup as an accessory, I see it as accessibility. I use my art as a way, not only to accentuate the positives of their facial features, but as a tool, to allow women to have the visual confirmation of their untapped and hidden potential. I pray every time I pick up a brush, I bring the beauty God has put inside of them to the surface.”

2. Rejuvenate your spirit by Speaking life into yourself.

After you’ve glammed up the package, remind yourself of your strengths and best qualities. Creating a self-positive mindset is essential to maintaining our sanity and sense of self-esteem.  Go over a list of your positives in the mirror or if you’re rushing put the door, do it in your head while you’re driving. Jay Davenport, skincare starlet and All Frills contributor shared this insight.

Jay Davenport: Whenever I have a thought that puts ME down I immediately try to counter it with something positive. There is a woman that I want to be, and everyday I am striving to be her. She is fierce, always confident, and positive, and there is nothing that anyone can say to make her think otherwise. So when I doubt myself, I try to think of that woman that I’m trying to become, and then speak life into myself or encourage myself. This is the mental aspect. The physical aspect is I try to change what I don’t like about myself so that those negative thoughts won’t continue to haunt me.”

You’re not done yet. After you acknowledge your amazing attribute, it’s good to remember to maintain your focus.  Knowing that you have positive traits and qualities is a good thing, but without celebrating and re-focusing on them every day, you will soon slip back into the habit of doubt and not so constructive self-criticism.[trx_br]

3. Define the problems and make a positive difference.

You can make a positive difference in your life right now, simply by understanding you can point your life in whatever direction your choose. Even if the only thing you improve is your attitude, you’ve accomplished alot. A small positive step, is enough to get you moving in the right direction. If you keep going, there’s no limit to the rich life you can create and wonderful version of yourself you will become.

Me: When I wake up feeling like life mowed me over. I take the time to reflect and come up with a game plan on how to tackle the problem. The way to do that is with a solid, specific, deeply meaningful intention and a well defined objective. As a writer, I like to find a peaceful place to sit with my reflections journal, or if you don’t have one a pen and paper, and honestly and  shamelessly dive in to the things about my current situation and myself, that I’m so dissatisfied with. Then I turn my reflections into a list and break it down into simple, obtainable daily or weekly goals. It helps make things simpler and less overwhelming. Now When each day begins, I choose to focus on a clearly defined way in which I intend to make life better. Then, as the day goes progresses, I am better able to recognize the opportunities that arise for fulfilling that intention. And more importantly to allow myself  to accept and utilize them. I am a firm believer that God helps those who help themselves, and when we can admit that we need help, God utilizes the powers of the universe to provide. As overwhelming as life may seem at times, we are not alone. there are opportunities that will most certainly be there to aid and empower each of us. You don’t always have to fight for them or wish or struggle or connive. Sometimes all we need to have is a clear, meaningful intention, and allow our faith and confidence in ourselves to push us to fulfill it. Define, intend, believe, allow, and discover your amazing capabilities and put them to their highest uses.”

We’d love to know how you combat your own self-created barriers. Leave a comment and share your experience… we’re all learning from each other!

Talk to you soon lovies!

-Mary Hanna


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