Who loves food? I know… Most of you probably either raised your hands literally, virtually or both.
I love food and I hate it all at the same time. In the past it has been my friend, my comfort, the one I subconsciously go to to without thinking, it has also been my drug of choice, and my drug dealers are all legal and all over the freaking place. Yes, I just called food a drug. Like all drugs, when used properly, can be good and beneficial to you, but when used with reckless abandon, can wreak havoc upon you … Not just physically, but mentally and emotionally as well.
There are people who do not have issues surrounding food, and I have to admit, that I envy them. I wish that I had better discipline and control with my food, but for me, that stems from other issues and traumas that I’ve gone through. Yes, food and your emotions are very tied together, but I’m sure you already know that, and if you don’t, there’s something new for you.
How the battle begun
My battle with my weight has been an ongoing one for what seems like a lifetime. As a child, I remember being called “Fatso” by some adults in my family (not my parents, thank God). I didn’t think of it much when I was kid, but I can tell you that I didn’t really like it, and it seemed like no matter how I would protest for them to not tease me, my cries didn’t matter. When I look at them now, as a grown ass woman, I think, “You can’t fix ugly.” So, I guess, in a certain sense, I’ve always thought I was a fat kid. It’s funny, when I look back at my pictures back then, I wasn’t a fat kid at all. I was a normal, obnoxious kid.
Don’t believe the hype
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard that in order to lose weight, you need to eat right and exercise. Shoot, we have all heard it. I got the exercise part right. The eating part, well, that’s a whole different thing. I’ve been living a total lie thinking that if I exercise as much as I do, I can eat whatever I want. WRONG!
I’m a fitness instructor and you would imagine that I would know better… and you know, I really do. I just didn’t do it for myself… that is, until now. I finally hit some type of bottom with myself, my growth, with so many different things. I knew that I needed to make some changes. One of the biggest changes I had to make was about my food, my drug. Because who really wants someone telling them how to eat, much less what to eat?! I sure didn’t. Don’t tell me I can’t have certain foods and this and that, you’re messing with my drugs. Riiight?! But every drug addict eventually hits a bottom, right?
Change has to start somewhere
So, what to do? I started by joining a 5-Day Clean Eating Group on FB wherein I had/have an accountability partner, and a coach who posted what foods to eat, and he did this daily. I’m not a picky eater, so most of the foods were doable, except for pork. I don’t do pork. I was eating chicken breast, salmon, even steak. ️Bok choy, broccoli, carrots, zucchini, tomatoes… Easy stuff. Even got to have protein shakes! Score!!! Totally winning!!! Good food and easy to prepare! I didn’t eat out once.
- I had to surrender my will to control food and use it the way I wanted to. Yeah, this was and is a hard one.
- When you bite it, write it. In my case, I used the MyFitnessPal app to track all of the food I eat, and also my activity. For my activity, I used very conservative numbers in terms of calories I burned, so that I didn’t trick myself in to thinking I could eat more.
- Eating healthy and clean, you are eating a lot of food, good food. I think you burn calories because you’re chewing so much. 362 Calories is a lot of food!
- Preparation is everything. It’s easy when you have a menu planned for you or you plan your menu. You just need to grocery shop for foods you need for the week.
- Having an accountability partner was such a big thing, and it totally helped. It helps keep you honest with yourself.
- Having support is also helpful. When you’re with someone or a group that has a common goal, it helps keep you on track. You can receive encouragement and motivation when you feel like you’re about to give-up.
- If NOTHING changes, nothing is going to change. I think that speaks for itself.
- This process / journey is one-day-at-a-time. Try not to get ahead of yourself.
- You have to decide that you’re worth it.
- Breathe … You’re doing it.
Accountability, honesty, preparation, willingness… And, most important… Self-love… All good for your mind, body, and soul.
So, I’m going to do my best and continue this journey, and learn to discipline the Food Beast inside of me, but also to learn to be gentle with my Food Beast when she misbehaves.
By the way … In 5 days, I lost 4.5 lbs., eating clean and exercising … And I continue on …
See you on the dancefloor!